The Hardest Thing
by x Lost Hero x
Summary: Jack moves away from Kate and onto Juliet. But he soon realizes that he keeps wanting to go back to Kate. It is hard on him because he has developed feelings for Juliet. But is the hardest thing, going back to Kate, the right thing? COMPLETE!
1. Jack and Juliet

**Author's Note: This plot came to me while I was listening to _All At Once _by The Fray. Most of this fanfic was inspired by The Fray's _How to Save a Life_ cd. I also do not own LOST or any of its characters.**

* * *

_"Jack?" Kate's frightened voice filled my ears as I tried to hold in all the emotions in my body._

"_Kate, you've got an hour head start before they come after you. Take the walkie take Sawyer…and go," I managed to say._

"_Wait, where are you? What-?" she started. I cut her off._

"_Listen to me. Do you remember what I told you on the beach? The day of the crash? The story I told you while you were stitching me up?" I questioned. Somehow all the emotions that I had been trying to hold in managed to wiggle their way out of my body. I saw Julie glance at me out of the corner of my eye. Then Kate answered me._

"_Jack, please-" she started._

"_Do you remember?" I asked, becoming angry._

"_Yes-yeah. I remember," Kate replied. I could tell that she was scared._

"_When you're safe, radio me and tell me that story. If you don't call me within an hour, I'll know something is wrong. And he dies," I said, directing the last sentence to Tom._

"_I'm not leaving without you," Kate says._

"_Yes you are. Go," I reply._

"_I can't…" Kate trails off._

"_Dammit Kate…RUN!" I scream into the walkie. Then the world fades to black._

* * *

"Jack? Jack. Honey, wake up. Jack," a soft voice called. I woke up with a start and saw Juliet leaning over me.

"Hey…what's wrong?" I murmur groggily.

"You were shaking," Juliet said. I slowly got up and looked around. The room was normal. Same yellow walls, same bed, same dresser, and the same Julie. She sat on the bed next to me and I wrapped my arms around her. She snuggled close to me and rested her head on my bare chest. I ran my fingers through her hair and noticed that she looked worried.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked. Juliet looked up at me.

"Nothing Jack. Everything's fine," she replied.

"Does Ben want me to check on him?" I asked. Julie nodded.

"He said he wants to talk to you," she said. I sighed.

"Did he say he wanted to see me right when I woke up?" I asked. Juliet nodded again. I groaned and slowly got out of bed. As I rummaged through the dresser drawers for my jeans and a t-shirt, I heard Juliet sigh. I turned around and looked at her.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…you just look so damn sexy in your boxers…"

"Oh really?"

"Mhm…"

"How sexy do I look?"

"Very sexy," she said seductively. Then she got off the bed and strutted over to me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close to me.

"How sexy?"

"Very sexy."

"Say it again."

"You look very sexy."

"Very sexy?"

"Very, very, sexy."

Grinning, I pulled Julie even closer to me. Her stunning blue eyes stared directly into my brown eyes. We stared at each other for a moment before Juliet moved forward and kissed me. I kissed her back and moved towards the bed. Julie's arms slipped around my neck and I picked her up. She pulled away and giggled. I looked at her beautiful, beaming face and smirked. I kissed her neck and Juliet leaned her head back. "Make love to me Jack. Make love to me," she murmured. I looked at her, and she looked at me. I smirked and walked to our bed. Julie clung to me tightly and I lay her on the bed. As I got on top of her, she kissed me on the lips. I kissed her back and my hands ran up and down her body touching her soft baby like skin. I felt her arms wrapping around my neck and I proceeded to take off her clothes.

"Oh Jack…" she whispered.


	2. Ben and Jack Talk

**Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews. I love it when people read my stories. So, thanks again. I'm sorry that I did not warn you guys about the Jack/Juliet sex scene...my bad. Oh well. I PROMISE that there will be Jate in chapter three. But, read and review this chapter please!**

* * *

I stroked Juliet's blonde locks and kissed the top of her head. She glanced up at me and kissed my lips. I kissed her back and looked at the clock.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit," I exclaimed, getting up.

"What?" Julie asked, covering herself with the sheets.

"Ben's waiting for me," I said, throwing on my boxers. Juliet sighed and traced circles on the sheets. As I threw on jeans and a t-shirt, I walked over to the bed and kissed Julie on the forehead. "I won't be long," I said.

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise."

Juliet sighed and kissed my lips. I pulled away after a moment and started to leave the house.

"Don't be too long," she called.

"I won't."

"Don't leave me here waiting…all alone."

"I won't."

"I love you, Jack."

"I love you too, Julie."

* * *

I walked through the neighborhood, enjoying the weather. Some of the neighbors stared at me, still not used to me living in the community. I walked onto Ben's porch and knocked the door. Alex opened the door and I smiled.

"Hey Alex. Julie told me that your dad wanted to see me. Is he home?"

"Yeah. C'mon in Jack."

I walked into the house and shut the door behind me. Alex led me down a hallway covered in pictures of her. "Wow…" I murmured, glancing at all the pictures.

"Dad's crazy, I know," Alex replied. She stopped by a door, but didn't open it. I stopped next to her. Alex turned and faced me with a serious look on her face.

"Was there a woman with hair like mine on your side of the island?" she quietly asked. I nodded.

"Yeah. Why? How did you find out about her?"

"I saw her. What's her name?"

"Danielle."

"Danielle what?"

"Danielle Rousseau."

"Has she been on the island for sixteen years?"

"Yeah, why? Wait, how do you know all this stuff?"

"I…I saw her. Last night. She was hiding in some bushes. I think she saw me too."

"How do you know her name though?"

"I asked Dad. He told me that my mother's name was Danielle. And that her last name was Rousseau."

"He told you all that? He just sat you down and told you this information?"

Alex shook her head. "No way. He would never do that. Never. I had to bug him about it for two hours. He didn't want to tell me. I forced him to. I needed to know. I needed to know why I never felt like I belonged. And now I know why I feel this way. Thanks Jack," she said. I was about to say something when Alex knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" a voice asked.

"Dad, it's me. Jack's here," Alex replied.

"The door's unlocked," Ben called. Then Alex opened the door and ushered me in. Once I was in the room Alex left, shutting the door behind her. I looked over at Ben and nodded.

"Ben."

"Jack."

"Juliet told me that you wanted to talk to me."

"Yes. I wanted you to check on my stitches."

I nodded and walked over to the bed. I helped Ben roll onto his stomach and I studied the stitches. They were becoming infected.

"Well, they are infected," I said.

"And? What can you do?" he asked.

"Nothing really. You just have to take care of them better."

"Oh," Ben paused. "Jack, please sit down. I want to tell you something."

I did as I was told, and sat on a chair next to his bed. Once I was sitting, Ben continued.

"We have captured some fellow survivors."

"What? Who? When? You told me you guys wouldn't…"

"They came to us Jack. they came for you."

"Who? Who came?" I asked. _Oh God, I hope it wasn't Kate,_ I thought.

"You will see later. Now, if I am right, Julie is waiting for you."

My heart stopped beating. How did he know that? Did he see us?

"How…how…?" I trailed off.

"She always talks about you. She's in love with you, Jack."

I sighed and nodded. Standing up, I headed out of the room. Once I shut Ben's door, Alex greeted me.

"Hey. Jack," she whispered.

"What?" I asked.

"Shh…come with me," Alex said. She grabbed my arm and led me down the hall. We entered the living room and Alex led me to the couch.

"Sit," she instructed.

I stared at her confused, but sat down anyway. Alex sat next to me.

"What's she like?"

"Who?"

"My mother?"

"Oh." I pause for a moment. "She's very, very independent," I say after thinking.

"Do I look like her a lot?"

I stared at Alex, studying her face.

"You have her hair. And her eyes."

Alex grinned. "Thanks Jack," she said.

I nodded. "No problem." As I got up to leave, Alex stopped me again.

"You know, I think you're the only person I can trust Jack. You understand me," she said. I turned and looked at her, not knowing what to say. But Alex kept talking. "Your friends. I know where they are. I can take you to them," she said. I stared at her, shocked.

After a moment, I nodded. "Okay."

"Once Juliet's asleep, I'll come and get you."

"Wait, how do you know when she'll be asleep?"

"She falls asleep at the same time every night. Trust me," Alex explained.

I nod. "Okay. See you later then," I say.

"See you."

I head out of Ben's house and back to my own house.


	3. The Friend

**Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews. I have also seen that four of you have put my story on your alert list. Thank you very much. That makes me feel good, knowing that people really like my fanfic. This next chapter is very long. And now, the moment that all of you Jate fans have been waiting for…**

* * *

Later during the night I was sitting in the living room reading a book. Julie had fallen asleep a few minutes earlier. I heard a door open and I turned. Alex was standing in the doorway, waiting. 

"Ready?" she asked.

"Jesus Alex. You scared me. Haven't you ever heard of a thing called knocking? Or an electronic device called a doorbell?" I asked. She shrugged.

"Are you ready?"

I nodded and closed my book. Standing up, I walked over to the door. Alex nodded and then we left.

* * *

As we walked through the community, Alex explained everything I needed to know to me. 

"Okay. Your friend is in Tom's basement. I'm gonna tell him that Dad told me to bring you. He'll believe me of course. While I'm talking to Tom, you're gonna be outside waiting. Once I get the okay, I'll come out. There is a door outside to his basement. We'll go in through there. I'll leave you alone with your friend for ten minutes," she explained.

"Where will you be?" I asked.

"I'll be outside waiting," Alex replied. I nodded, and we soon got to Tom's house. The sixteen-year-old stopped and I stopped next to her.

"Okay. Go wait over there," she instructed, pointing a few meters away. I nodded and walked away.

I waited by some bushes. Lights illuminated faintly by me. After a few minutes Alex returned.

"Okay. Let's go," she said.

I nodded and she led the way to the basement door. Before she opened the door, she stopped and looked at me.

"If you need anything, holler for me."

"Okay."

Then Alex opened the door and I walked in. I heard a person shuffle.

"Who's there?" a familiar voice called nervously.

"Kate?" I called.

"Jack?"

I followed her voice and soon found her sitting on a pool table with her hands handcuffed together.

"Kate…oh Kate," I said, rushing over to her.

"Jack…"

"Kate, I told you not top come back here. I told you not to worry about me."

A sobbing Kate closed her eyes and buried her head in her hands. "I'm sorry Jack. I'm sorry. I thought…I thought you wanted me to come back. I'm sorry," Kate sobbed.

My face softened, and I wrapped my arms around her.

"Shh Kate, it's okay. It's okay," I said, sitting on the table next to her. Slowly she collapsed in my arms and buried her head in my chest. Old feelings for her crawled up my spine. I shivered, sending them away.

"Jack, I'm sorry. I…I didn't want to leave you."

"Kate, it's okay."

I grabbed her hands and placed them in my hands. She slowly moved, and glanced up at me.

"Jack…did they do something to you? Why are you like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like this. You are friendly to all of them. Why?"

"If I didn't act like I am they would be torturing me. I have to do this to survive."

Kate stared down at our hands, transfixed. I looked down at them also, and saw her wrists were raw.

"Oh Kate, honey," I said. She looked up at me.

"Honey?" she asked. A stray piece of her curly brown hair fell in front of her eye. I brushed it away, tucking it behind her ear. Then I looked back at her.

"Yeah. Honey, your wrists are raw."

"I know. Jack, there's something I need to…tell you."

"What is it sweetie?" I asked, grabbing her hand. She was silent for a moment, touching my hand. Kate smiled and then looked at me.

"I…I…love…you," she said, stuttering.

"I love you," she repeated.

I looked at her, quiet. The feelings that I had for Kate came rushing up my body, dying to come out.

"I love you too, Kate."

She smiled as her eyes lit up. Kate leaned forward slightly and kissed my lips. I kissed her back as my arms wrapped around her waist. I pulled her closer to me. I heard Kate whimper slightly, and felt her pull away. I glanced around nervously. Nobody was in the room. I looked at her again.

"Honey, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"My…my wrists. Oh Jack, they really hurt."

I looked at her wrists. They were so raw. I got off the table but Kate kept a hold on my hands.

"Jack, where are you going?"

I kissed her forehead. When I pulled away I began to head towards the door.

"Alex!" I yelled.

"What?" she called back.

"Come here!"

She walked over to me and glanced in the basement.

"What?" she asked.

"Can you get me some antiseptic?" I asked, glancing back at Kate. Alex glanced at Kate also. I saw Kate glare at Alex. When I looked at Alex, she nodded.

"Sure."

"Thanks."

She began to walk away and then I stopped her.

"Hey Alex, do you think when you get back we could have more time?"

She stopped and then turned around, facing me.

"Yeah, I bet I'd be able to get you another ten to twenty minutes. I know Tom wouldn't mind."

"Thanks."

Then Alex left. I shut the door and walked over to the pool table. Kate looked at me confused. I sat on the pool table, but she slowly moved away from me.

"That's what I was talking about."

"What?"

"You being friendly with them."

"That's just Alex."

"_Just_ Alex?"

"Kate, don't worry," I said, reaching for her hand. She pulled it out of my reach.

"Don't worry? What makes her so important that we can trust her?" she snapped.

I sighed. I looked down at the table. When I looked back up at Kate, she seemed pissed.

"Kate, she's…she's Danielle's…Alex is…" I trailed off. I took a deep breath and then continued.

"Alex is Danielle's daughter."

Kate's face softened, and she stared me right in the eye.

"So we can trust her?"

I nodded. "She told me that she never felt that she fit in…I put the pieces together for her."

There was a knock on the door. We both jumped. I got off the pool table and walked to the door. The person knocked again.

"Jack, it's me. Alex."

I opened the door and Alex stood in the doorway.

"Here," Alex said, handing me the antiseptic.

"Thanks. How long did Tom say?"

"Whenever. Doesn't matter?"

"Thanks Alex. Could you just wait outside in case…" I glanced at Kate and then back at Alex.

"Just in case Julie comes?" I finished, lowering my voice.

Alex nodded.

"Yeah. No problem."

"Thanks."

Then Alex left. I shut the door again and walked over to Kate.

"Kate, hold out your hands."

She held out her hands and I moved the handcuffs out of my way. As I rubbed the medicine on her wrists, Kate stared at me. I heard her heavy breathing hit my face. I worked as fast as I could, not looking at Kate. As I worked, Kate whimpered a few times. I ignored her the first couple of times.

"Jack, oh Jack…it hurts. It…it stings."

"I know sweetie, I know. I'm almost done," I soothed.

Kate stayed quiet and I soon finished. I set the small bottle down and looked at Kate. She looked back at me and I became lost in her dazzling hazel eyes. I kept her hands in mine and smiled to myself.

"You're so beautiful," I heard myself saying. Kate blushed, and giggled. It was the first time in a long time that I had heard her laugh.

"Jack…" she murmured.

"What? You are beautiful," I said.

She giggled again. Without thinking I kissed her on the lips and pulled her onto my lap. Kate kissed me back. When Kate pulled away a moment later she rested in my arms. I stroked her hair and a slight pain stabbed me in the chest.

_Oh God, what am I doing? _I thought. Ben's words rang in my ears.

_She's in love with you, Jack. She's in love with you,_ his words entered my thoughts as cold as ice.

_What am I doing? What the hell am I doing? Julie loves me. I love her. Kate loves me and I love her. Oh shit. What the hell am I getting myself into?_ I thought grimly.

I looked down at Kate and saw how peaceful she was.

_Oh God, what am I doing?_ I thought.

I looked down at Kate again and saw her head buried in my chest.

_What am I going to do? _I thought.

I kept stroking her hair, trying to buy time. I felt her hands grab my own hands and I looked down at our hands. Then I looked at Kate and kissed her hair again.

"Jack, please don't leave me. Please," Kate murmured.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Kate looked at me. Her face was scared, but serious.

"Don't forget about me. Please don't leave me here. Please help me escape."

"What makes you think I won't help you? I love you, Kate. I will help you escape. And we will go home together. I'm not going to go home without you," I said.

_Jesus Jack. Stop saying that. You don't know what you're saying. You're not thinking straight. Just shut up right now, _I thought to myself.

"Do you promise that? That we'll go home together?"

"Yeah. I promise," I heard myself reply. Kate looked at me and smiled. She kissed my lips and I kissed her back. Kate pulled away a moment later and looked past me. I heard a noise and I turned. The doorknob was jiggling. I rushed over to door.

"Who is it?" I called.

"Jack, it's me."

I opened the door and Alex stood in the doorway.

"What?" I asked.

Alex looked at Kate and then looked back at me.

"She woke up. She's at my house talking with Dad. Asking where her _boyfriend_ is," Alex whispered.

"Shit. Okay. I'll be out in a minute."

I left Alex and went back over to Kate.

"Honey, I have to go. They're looking for me."

"What? Who? No, Jack, please don't leave me."

"I'll be back tomorrow. I promise."

I kissed Kate on the lips and she grabbed my hand when I pulled away a moment later.

"Jack, I love you."

"I love you too, Kate."

I quickly walked back to Alex and we left the basement.

* * *

As we walked briskly through the neighborhood, I was asking Alex questions. 

"When did she wake up? Why did she go to your dad? How long has she been looking?" I asked nervously.

"Jack, don't worry. She woke up ten minutes ago," Alex replied.

"What time is it, anyway?" I asked.

"It's like midnight," Alex said.

"How long has Kate been in Tom's basement?"

"Since two."

_Oh God, _I thought. _When I was making love to Juliet, Kate was being handcuffed and thrown into Tom's basement. Oh my God. I'm horrible._

* * *

When we got back to Alex's house I walked into the living room dazed and confused. 

"Jack!" Juliet exclaimed, rushing over to me. I stood there frozen as Julie rushed over and flung her arms around my neck. She embraced me but I just stood there hypnotized. I felt Julie's warm kisses hit my neck, lips, and cheeks.

"Jack, where'd you go?" I vaguely heard Julie ask.

"Yes Jack, where were you?" Ben questioned.

I snapped out of my perplexed mind and realized Juliet was still hugging me. I hugged her back. I looked at Ben over her head.

"I…I just went for a walk," I said.

"A walk? A walk? Why didn't you come and tell me?" Juliet asked, looking at me.

"I didn't want to wake you up," I lied. As I kissed Juliet's forehead I added, "I should've woken you up. I'm sorry."

Juliet sighed. "Let's just go home," she said. Julie started to head out of Ben's house, dragging me along.

"Jack!"

Both Juliet and I stopped.

"Yeah?"

"Come here at noon tomorrow. I wanted to talk to you."

I started to walk back over to him, but he stopped me.

"No. Come tomorrow. Go home with Juliet. I bet you need a lot of rest after walking," he said.

I nodded and then walked home with Juliet.


	4. Talking to Alex and Ben

**Author's Note: Thank you so much for reviewing. I am so sorry this chapter took awhile to put up. I was visiting family over my spring break and I barely wrote. But this chapter is kind of long, so I think it'll make up for the time that I didn't update. Read and review please!**

* * *

_I tried reaching around my waist to grab the gun._

"_Dammit," I murmured._

"_What're you trying to do?" Kate asked. She was inches away from me._

"_Trying to get the gun. I can't get my arm around though," I replied._

_Kate's arm moved around my waist and I held my breath. Her sweet aroma surrounded me._

"_Alright. Sorry. I don't want to shoot you. Okay," Kate said, pulling the gun out of my jeans. She held it close so I could see._

"_You got it?" I asked._

"_Okay, ready. Got it, got it, got it."_

"_Oh, alright. Okay, now give me the gun."_

_Kate looked at me confused. "Why, what for?"_

"_I'm going to try and shoot the rope."_

_Kate started to aim the gun._

"_Oh, hey, hey, hey."_

_She stopped and looked at me._

"_I'm a better shot than you are," Kate assured._

"_Oh really?" I asked._

"_Yeah, I told you. I grew up hunting with my dad," she replied._

_Against my wishes, Kate shot the gun. But she missed._

"_Damn!"_

"_Well at least they know where we are," I said sarcastically. "Okay now give me the gun," I added._

"_Are you going to waste another bullet?"_

"_We'll still have thirteen more to shoot each other with. Come on."_

"_Fine. You have a better angle than me anyway."_

"_Oh, that's going to be your excuse when I make it?"_

"_When you make the shot."_

_I shook my head and aimed the gun. I pulled the trigger and the bullet hit its target. We fell on the ground and Kate landed on top of me._

_As Kate laughed slightly she said, "Nice shot."_

* * *

I woke up with a start and looked around the bedroom. I looked next to me and saw Julie lying there.

"Julie…" I murmured.

She stirred and looked over at me.

"Hey…mhm…what's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," I lied.

"Jack, you're sweating."

Juliet put her hand on my face. Just then I realized I was sweating.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Something's wrong."

I sighed. "Just a…a bad dream," I said, leaving out the Kate part.

"Mhm…don't worry. It was just a dream," Juliet said, kissing my lips. I kissed her back and then pulled away.

"What time is it?"

"Eleven."

I groaned and looked up at the ceiling. Ben wanted me to go talk to him in an hour. I sighed and looked at Juliet again. She looked at me and smiled.

"Jack, I love you," she said.

I avoided answering Juliet by kissing her cheek. She turned and kissed my lips. Once we parted I slowly got out of the bed. I realized I was still wearing my clothes.

As I walked out of the bedroom Julie called, "Honey, where are you going?"

"To the piano room," I called back.

I sat on the bench and began to play a soft, slow, sad tune. I had been playing for ten minutes when Juliet came up behind me. I felt her wrap her arms around my neck and I heard her sigh.

"It's beautiful," she murmured in my ear. I stayed focused on the music and noting else.

Once I was done she kissed my neck.

"That was beautiful," she whispered.

I didn't reply. Instead, I left Juliet and walked into the bedroom. I shut the door and looked through the drawers for a clean shirt and jeans. As I was changing, Juliet walked into our room.

"What's wrong Jack?" she asked.

"Nothing. Why?"

"Because you seem different. Distant."

"So?"

"Well, ever since you went walking, I've been worried about you. And then when you came to Ben's, you've been acting different. Quiet, like. What did happen when you went for a walk?"

I looked away from her and finished dressing. I felt Julie grab my hand and she made me face her.

"What is wrong with you?"

I looked at her and then replied, "Nothing Juliet. I'm fine."

"No you're not! What the hell is going on?"

I pulled my hand out of Juliet's grasp and started to head out of the house.

"Jack! Jack! Where the hell are you going?"

"Ben's," I called back, hurrying out of the house.

I heard Julie run behind me and I quickened my pace. I did not want to talk to her. I didn't even want to face Kate. But I had promised her. I sighed and walked around the community, wasting time before I had to go to Ben's. I passed Tom's house and dared not to look at the basement door when I passed it. As I walked, the people avoided me. I sighed and then walked up to Ben's door. I didn't even bother knocking. I opened the door and entered his house. Alex was sitting on the couch reading. When she heard me, she glanced up.

"Hey Alex."

She rushed up to me and grabbed my arms.

"Jack. Jack. I saw her again. Mom. I saw her again," Alex said, shaking my arms. I noticed that she looked happy and scared at the same time. I headed over to the couch. Alex followed me. We both sat down and faced each other.

"Alex, what happened? Why are you scared?"

"I saw her. Last night. After you and Juliet left. I saw her through the window. After you left, I made a silly excuse to go outside. I went over to her. She…she looked shocked. She said, _Alex?_ and I nodded. Then she broke down crying. I took her over to one of the benches. We sat down and then she told me everything. Everything. About the boat crash, how I was born on the island, who my father was, and how the rest of the team died. The last thing she said before I came back here and she went to her camp was _I love you_. And then I said, _I love you too Mom_. Then she left," Alex explained.

"But Alex, why are you scared?" I asked.

"I think he saw us. Ben. I had be looking out incase…incase anyone came. And I could've sworn that I saw him looking out the window. Jack, what if he did see us? What if he knows? Will he let me go to Mom? What will he do?" Alex asked.

I hugged Alex, but quickly let go. "There's nothing he can really do Alex," I said. She sighed.

"Ben wants to talk to you."

I nod. Alex stood up and led me to his room. She let me in. I walked over to the chair near his bed and sat down.

"Hello Jack."

"Hello Ben."

"I heard that my daughter took you to see Kate."

I wanted to scream, _She's not your goddamned daughter! You kidnapped her! How dare you! _but I held back. Instead I replied, "Yes. Alex told me that she'd let me talk to Kate."

Ben nodded. "And I've heard that you did more than just talk with Miss Austen. Did I hear correctly, Dr. Shephard?" he asked.

My heart stopped beating and I stopped breathing. _Who saw us? Did Alex spy on us? Is she double-crossing me? Who the hell saw us? _I thought, becoming nervous.

When my heart started beating again and I began to breathe once more, I nodded.

"And what did you do?" he asked.

_That's it. I can't take anymore, _I thought.

"Why the hell do you want to know? It's not your damn business!" I snapped. Ben nodded.

"You're right. It's not my business to know what you did with one of your fellow castaways. Hell, for all I know you two could've just talked. You could be lying. But there is one person that deserves to have access to that information. And you should tell them. Because if you don't and they somehow find out from another person, then you're in trouble," he said.

"Who the hell has the right to know?" I snapped, not thinking clearly.

"Your _girlfriend _Jack. Juliet. She has the right to know. Because if you don't tell her and you end up doing something more with Kate, well then, you're practically cheating on her," Ben said. I stared at him, shocked. He was right. And even when I saw Kate, I almost was cheating on Julie.

_What the hell did I get myself into? _I thought smugly.

"Jack," Ben said, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I looked up at him.

"Jack, I'm telling you this as a friend."

"A friend?"

The last time I'd check, Ben and I were not friends.

"Yes, a friend," he said, nodding.

I stared at him.

"If I were you, that's what I'd do. But, I am not you. Only you can make your own decisions Jack. People can influence you, but they can't make decisions for you."

That was it. I couldn't take it. "Hell Ben, why are you telling me all this shit? And why the hell do I even care?"

"I'm looking out for Juliet, Jack. I care about her. She loves you, and if you don't tell her what you did with Kate, you will break her heart."

I stood up and shook my head.

"I'll tell you when I'm ready Ben," I said, leaving the room. I walked into the living room and saw Alex waiting for me.

"Hey," I said, walking over to her.

"Hey," she replied, standing up.

I looked at her. "Let me talk to Kate," I said. Alex nodded. We left the house and hurried through the neighborhood.


	5. Confessions

**Author's Note: Thank you for reading and reviewing. Here is the next part. And Jaters, you might like it! Sorry it's short, but my friend (hersheygal) and I decided to update our stories on the same days (which we will do soon!) and I had to rush to finish this chapter. And then Fanfiction went down, so we couldn't update! Oh, and by the way, I have another Jate story up! So be sure to check it out! Just look at my profile and looked at the **_**Stories Authored**_** section. But enough of my babbling. Here is my next entry!**

* * *

"Kate, Kate, where are you?" I asked, walking into the basement.

"Jack?"

"Kate, I'm here," I said, rushing over to her.

"Jack!" she exclaimed, falling into my arms.

"Kate, are you okay?"

She buried her head in my chest and began to cry.

"Jack, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I rubbed her back, trying to calm her.

"Sorry? Sweetie, what are you sorry for?"

"Sawyer."

The name stabbed me painfully in the chest. That son of a bitch. I thought of when I was in the room with all the monitors. That son of a bitch.

"Sweetie, what did he do?" I asked, pretending to not know. A sobbing Kate tried to look up at me.

"Jack, I…I…I'm so sorry Jack. Oh God."

Kate looked away from me. She kept crying. As I rubbed her back, trying to calm her, my other hand rested under her chin and moved her face to look at me. I kissed Kate tenderly on the lips. When we pulled away, Kate hiccupped. My hand rested on her chin still.

"Kate, whatever happened, I'll be able to forgive you. I promise."

She shook her head. "You won't be able to forgive me for this, Jack."

"Try me."

She sighed and looked into my brown eyes. I looked at her sparkling hazel eyes.

"Jack, Jack. I just want to tell you one thing. I love you. I really do."

"I know. I know you do. And I love you too."

Kate kissed me and I gladly kissed her back. She pulled away from me and looked away.

"Kate, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done it."

"Done what? Kate, did you do something with Sawyer?"

She nodded slowly. "I'm so sorry Jack. I don't love him though. I care about him. But I don't love him. I love you."

"Kate, did you…did you sleep with him? With Sawyer?"

Kate nodded her head and cried even harder.

"Oh Kate…"

"I…I…I didn't mean to. They…they were going to kill him. I didn't know what else to do. But Jack, you have to believe me. I don't love him. I love you."

I nodded and kissed the top of her head. Kate looked up at me and sniffled. Using my thumbs I wiped the tears off her cheeks.

"I love you too," I replied.

We kissed. I pulled her onto my lap. Once we parted I murmured, "I'll get us out of here. Ben, he's onto us. Someone tipped him off that I came to see you last night. And Juliet…" I trailed off.

"Juliet? What about her?" Kate asked.

"I…Kate, I love you. Kate, I've been having a relationship with Juliet," I stuttered.

She kissed my lips. I pulled away and looked at her confused.

"I forgive you."

I smiled and kissed her again. As we kissed, the door opened. We quickly parted and looked at the door. Juliet was standing there as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Jack…" she murmured.

"Juliet, I'm sorry," I said.

She shook her head. "You can't be sorry if you wanted to kiss her. And if you already came," Juliet said.

I was speechless. Who told her? Did Ben tell her? How the hell did she find out? But before I could reply she stomped away. Kate tapped my shoulder. I looked at her.

"Go ahead Jack. Go catch up with her."

I shook my head. "No, I want to stay with you," I said.

Kate got off me and nudged my shoulder. "Go."

I sighed and kissed her forehead. "Okay," I said, leaving the basement.


	6. Yelling

**Author's Note: Thank you for all the reviews. I have figured out how I am going to end this story already, but don't worry. There is going to be a sequel. Now, on to the next chapter! Sorry it is short, by the way.**

* * *

I rushed through the neighborhood, dodging all the neighbor's stares. Sprinting into our house, I stopped. I bent over gasping for breath. Over my loud breathing, I could hear sobs from the living room. I stood up straight, and looked around the room. As I listened closely, I noticed that Juliet was the one crying.

"Julie?"

The sobs stopped for a moment, but then continued.

I walked towards the couch cautiously. "Julie, I am so sorry," I said. I stopped in my tracks.

"Sorry? You're not sorry! You were never sorry! Do you even love me? Huh? Do you even love me?" Juliet snapped. She then continued to cry.

I slowly took a step forward. She heard me.

"Jack, if you take one more step, I swear, I will kick your ass out of this house!"

I stopped again. "Julie, I'm sorry."

"Sorry? SORRY? HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BE SORRY, JACK? YOU CHEATED ON ME!"

"All I did was kiss her. That's not cheating on you." No matter how I said it, we both knew it was a lie.

Juliet turned and looked at me. I stared at her stunning blue eyes and saw that transparent tears twinkled in the light. Juliet opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off.

"Juliet, just listen to me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay? I never meant to cheat on you, even if kissing Kate twice counts as cheating. All I wanted to do was see her. That was it. But when I saw her, something happened…old feelings came back. Yes, I admit I had," I explained. Juliet glared at me. "Okay, I have, feelings for Kate. But I swear I never meant to hurt your feelings Juliet. Never. It just…happened. Things happen."

Juliet stared at me astonished. "Did she tell you about how she slept with Sawyer?" I nodded. Juliet's jaw dropped and she became even more bewildered. "And you forgave her?"

I nodded again. "People make mistakes, Julie."

Her eyes became wide. After a moment, Juliet came back to her senses and glared at me. "Choose. Right now," she snapped.


	7. Choosing

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews. I really wanted to end at a cliffhanger, and that seemed like the best place to end. Hehe. Anyways, here's the next chapter.**

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"Wh-what?" I asked, puzzled.

"You heard me. Choose. Right now. Me, or her. Who are you going to pick?" Juliet said.

"Pick? You want me to pick who I love? Julie, you can't."

"Yes. Yes I can force you to pick. Pick. Now."

My jaw dropped. _Is she out of her mind? _I thought. "Julie, are you sure you're okay?" I asked, taking a step forward. My hand reached out, trying to feel her forehead, but she was too fast.

"Yes, Jack! I'm fine! Now can you just answer my damn question? WHO THE HELL DO YOU CHOOSE?"

I let my arm swing to my side. I stood in the living room, thinking. Then I thought of something. "Kate," I said, smiling.

Juliet, who had calmed down, became speechless.

"Wh-wh-wh-wh-what? What did you just say?" she stuttered.

"Kate," I repeated, grinning widely.

* * *

Juliet stared at me as pure rage flashed dangerously in her eyes. I continued to grin, wondering how long it would take her to return to her senses. My question was soon answered though, as she started to yell at me.

"YOU CHOOSE THAT BITCH? AFTER WHAT SHE PUT YOU THROUGH? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?"

I nodded and chuckled slightly, still smiling. I replied, "Yes, I guess I am out of my mind." I really had touched Julie's nerve then. She continued to yell at me, although she was ten times louder.

"GET OUT! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JACK SHEPHARD! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY DAMN HOUSE!" As Juliet yelled, she began to throw anything she could grab at me. I ducked as the items, mainly books, soared towards me. I ran down the hallway and into the bedroom. When I entered the bedroom I grabbed as many shirts and jeans that I could carry. Then I rushed out the back door, avoiding Juliet's rampage in the living room.


	8. Getting Alex

**Author's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews. The next chapter is kind of short, but after this chapter the last two chapters will be long. Then this story will be finished. But I will be working constantly on the sequel for you guys. Anyways, here's the next chapter!**

* * *

"Kate, Kate!" I called, rushing into the basement.

"Jack?" she called. I could hear her footsteps, standing up and then walking over to me.

"Kate, where's your book bag?" I asked, stopping in front of her.

She turned and pointed to the pool table. I walked over to the table and threw my clothes in the bag. I zipped the bag up and threw it over my shoulder.

"Jack, what happened? What are we doing? Are you okay?"

I stopped by Kate and kissed her lips gently.

"I'm okay Kate. We're gonna leave tonight. Alex is going to come with us."

"What? Where is Alex?"

"I have to get her. Just stay here. If someone comes-anyone…Tom, Julie, or even Ben- pretend to be asleep. Okay?" I asked, handing the book bag to her.

Kat slowly nodded. "Okay. But, Jack, what happened?" she asked.

"I'll explain it when I get back. Okay?"

She nodded.

Before I left I said, "I love you." Kate replied, "I love you too."

* * *

I walked around the side of Ben's house. Looking through the windows, I looked for Alex's room. I soon found it. As I banged on her window I called, "Alex!"

After a minute she opened the window.

"Jack? What the hell?" she asked.

I put my finger to my lips and muttered, "Get anything you want to take. Clothes, pictures, books…anything."

She stared at me, completely puzzled now.

"Why? Jack, what the hell-"

I cut her off. "Juliet knows. Your so-called dad knows. Kate and I are leaving. Tonight."

Alex's jaw dropped. "But what if you get caught? What-"

"Dammit Alex! Do you want to live with your real mom, and Kate and I, or these bastards?"

She sighed. Then Alex was silent for a moment. "Fine. Gimme two minutes," she said, leaving the windowsill.

I waited there, trying to hide myself in the shadows of the house. Alex soon returned with a book bag, similar to Kate's, in her hand. She tossed it to me and I caught it. Then Alex climbed noiselessly out of her room. She jumped to the ground and once her feet touched the soft grass, we ran back to Tom's basement.


	9. Planning the Escape

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews. Sorry it's been a couple of days since I updated. It's taken me awhile to write the next chapter because I've been busy. But here it is!**

* * *

I slowly opened the door, incase Tom or Ben were there. I peeked into the basement, Alex behind me. "Kate?" I called. I heard someone stir in the room.

"Jack?"

I looked behind at Alex and nodded. Then we walked into the basement, shutting the door behind us.

"Kate, are you okay?" I asked once we got to the pool table. She was lying on her side and sobbing. Kate looked at me and continued to sob.

"It's-it's Locke. He went with them. They're leaving soon. Jack, he's turned into one of them. The others."

I sighed and managed to get Kate in a sitting position. Then I sat next to her with my arm around her shoulder. She cried into my shoulder. I tried soothing her as Alex watched.

"Shh, Katie. It's okay," I said.

She stopped crying and looked at me. "Ka-Katie? Did you just call me Katie?" she asked, shocked.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly. "I didn't mean to. It just slipped out."

She shook her head. "It's okay. It's just…nobody has called me Katie in a long time."

I sighed and kissed her forehead. I heard Alex make a groaning noise and I turned to look at her. I laughed slightly, seeing her disgusted face.

"Hey, Jack."

"Yeah, Alex?"

She looked at me with a serious look in her eyes. "Do you think that Karl could come with us?" she asked.

"Who's Karl?" I asked.

"Her boyfriend," Kate answered.

I glanced at Kate, slightly surprised that she knew the answer.

"Sawyer and I met him," she said apologetically.

I nodded, looking at Alex. "Okay. But hurry up and go get him. We're leaving as soon as it gets dark," I said.

Alex nodded and left the basement.

* * *

Once the door shut Kate blurted, "I'm sorry, Jack."

I glanced back at her puzzled. "Baby, what do you have to be sorry for?"

"I…I brought up when I was with him," she said.

I sighed. "Oh, Kate," I said, cupping her cheek. "You don't have to apologize."

She shook her head. "You don't understand, Jack. When I slept with him…I only slept with him because I wasn't sure I was going to see him again. And…and I know you hate him." I was about to protest but she shook her head and continued. "Don't even try to lie to me Jack. I know you hate him. And I know he hates you. Everyone at camp knows that you two hate each other. It's pretty obvious. But, Jack, I don't love him as much as I love you."

I had closed my mouth and I was looking at her. Tears glazed in her eyes. "Oh, Katie," I murmured, kissing her lips. She kissed me back but we soon parted. I turned toward the door as someone banged on it.

"Hey! Who's in there?" Tom yelled.

"Shit," I murmured, jumping off the pool table. I ran over to the closet door nearby and hid inside, leaving the door open wide enough so I could see.

"Kate, open the damn door!" Tom yelled.

I saw Kate get up and open the door. Tom rushed in and walked right past my hiding place. I closed the door a little and slid farther into the closet.

"Where the hell are they?" Tom demanded.

"Who?" Kate asked.

"Jack! And Alex! And don't you dare try to tell me that Jack hasn't been down here. I know he's been down here! I was the one that told Ben about him visiting you!"

* * *

A flash of red-hot anger rose up my chest.

_So it was Tom… _I thought. _He ratted me out._

"Okay, so you know he's been here. But he's not here now. But who the hell is Alex?"

I didn't hear Tom reply, but I heard a loud slap and Kate whimpered. My hatred for Tom grew steadily. I heard footsteps and soon heard the door slam. I waited a few moments before I walked out of the closet over to Kate. When I got over to her a saw a handprint on her cheek. She was also crying.

"Oh, Kate…" I whispered, hugging her. She hugged me back, resting her head on my shoulder.

"I wanna go home, Jack," she said, sobbing.

"I know you do. And we're going home tonight," I replied, kissing the top of her head.


	10. Going Home

**Author's Note: Thank you so much for reviewing. Sorry I have not updated in awhile. This will be the last installment of ****The Hardest Thing****. But don't worry; I am working on the sequel now. So please read and review this chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

Alex came back ten minutes later with a boy who had dirty-blonde hair who, I guessed, was sixteen. When Karl looked around the room, his eyes fell immediately on Kate.

"You!" he gasped, pointing his finger at Kate.

I heard her sweet innocent giggle. "Hello Karl," she replied.

The boy's eyes moved from Kate to me.

"And who the hell are you?" he asked.

"I'm Jack," I replied.

Karl stared at me, studying me. After a moment he recognized me. "I know you. That Juliet girl never shuts up about you!" he said.

It felt like a bomb had dropped in my stomach. I slowly glanced at Kate. She shrugged. Then I looked back at Karl and Alex.

"Is everyone asleep?"

Alex nodded. "Yup. Or pretty damn close to it."

I started to pace the room, thinking hard.

"Okay," I said, mainly talking to myself. "If we leave in about ten minutes, everyone should be asleep. And that would put us at…what time Alex?"

She glanced at her watch. "10:30," she said.

"Good, good. We could get halfway there, take a break and then go the rest of the way. If we just take a five minute break and we don't sleep…we should get there as people start to get up. Right, Kate?"

Kate turned and looked at me. She thought for a moment. Then Kate replied, "Yeah. Hurley, Charlie, or Desmond will probably be up that early to get fish. Last I was there, we were running low on Dharma food."

I nodded, and kept pacing. Soon, after ten minutes, I stopped. "Alex, do you know where you guys keep the guns?" I asked her.

She nodded.

"Good. Go and get four guns."

Alex glanced at me puzzled.

I simply said, "Just in case."

Then Alex nodded once more and left the basement. Once the door shut I grabbed Karl's arm and pulled him into the closet. Both he and Kate stared at me confused. "We'll hide just in case Tom comes down," I said.

Kate nodded and Karl became silent.

_He must know how bad they are, _I thought.

We waited in the closet for about ten minutes when I heard the door open. I looked out the crack of the door and saw Kate jump.

"Who's there?" she called.

"It's me. Alex. I have the guns."

Then Karl and I walked out of the closet. Alex stared at us, puzzled.

"Just in case," Karl said. Alex nodded, understanding.

I looked at Alex. "Everyone asleep now?" I asked.

She nodded. "All the lights are turned off."

"Good," I murmured, pacing the room again.

After a moment I stopped in front of Alex. "We should get going. By the time they get up, we need to be as far away as possible. Gimme a gun," I said, holding my hand out.

Alex handed me one. Then she handed Kate and Karl the other guns, keeping one for herself.

I looked at all of them, staring at Kate a second longer than Alex or Karl. "Ready?" I asked, glancing away from Kate. Then I looked back at Alex. She nodded. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kate nod slowly. "Okay then. Let's go."

* * *

The wind howled in the distance. I led the way through the jungle, closely followed by Kate. Her sweet aroma moved with the wind and into my mouth when I breathed. Karl and Alex trailed behind us. I felt Kate grab my hand. I looked back her her and saw that she looked worried.

"What's wrong sweetie?" I asked, stopping.

She stopped next to me and then hugged me tightly.

"Jack…Jack…" she murmured.

"Kate, what's wrong?" I asked, becoming worried myself.

"I really don't want to go back. What if…if Sawyer sees me with you…oh God, Jack. I'm scared. What if he tries to do some-"

I put my finger to her lips, silencing her. "Kate, I won't let him touch you. I will protect you. I promise," I said.

Kate sighed and kissed my lips.

I kissed her back and heard Alex make an impatient clicking noise. I pulled away from Kate and looked at Alex.

"Are you two ready?" she asked.

I nodded and then took Kate's hand. I led the way through the jungle, keeping Kate close to me. After days with the Others, we were finally going home.


End file.
